This is an excellent post…many of the things that I talk about in with regard to how we as caregivers respond to our loved ones in You Oughta Know: Acknowledging, Recognizing, and Responding to the Steps in the Journey Through Dementias and Alzheimer’s Disease are beautifully and eloquently stated here by someone who has Alzheimer’s Disease.
You know, for me, one of the greatest blessings in my life was the opportunity to be the caregiver for my mom. I got frustrated, at times, before I realized what was wrong, but the frustration was not with my mom, but with me because I didn’t know how to make things better for her.
But I didn’t take that frustration out on my mom. Instead, it provoked me to be even more protective, more gentle, more kind, more caring, and more loving toward her. Intuitively, I knew she was scared and because I knew how fear manifested itself with her, I did my best to make sure that she knew that she was safe and comfortable and that I would never leave her.
I also made sure that her dignity and independence (one of the chapters I cover in-depth in this book) were kept intact (independence was only modified when safety was an issue, but even then I was very careful to let Mom have as much as she could handle) to the end of her life.
The way I looked at caregiving was that I was fulfilling the circle of life for my mom. She did the same things for me when I could do nothing for myself, when I was helpless, completely dependent, kept her up all hours of the night, and was finicky and fussy. She didn’t leave me. She didn’t complain. She didn’t walk away. She did everything she could to show me love, care, and comfort.
And that she deserved from me when the time came that the roles were reversed.