Poignant post from a daughter who’s mom is suffering from dementia/Azheimer’s Disease: http://mydementedmom.com/2013/07/30/dont-stop-asking-about-my-mom/
I identified with this post in a way that I can’t really put into words, but I know two things specifically echoed my own experiences.
One was how our loved ones seem to become invisible as they lose their ability to recognize, communicate, and respond in tangible ways with most people. Touch, as the author points out, is huge. Hugs, kisses, putting my arms around her shoulders, and holding her hands a lot were how my mom and I stayed connected, more so after the dementias and Alzheimer’s Disease, than before.
And the other is one that has long been a principle for me. Quantity (of life) doesn’t matter if there is no quality. It’s why I’ve had a no-extraordinatry-measures living will and DNR since I was in my early 20’s and why Mama did the same for herself after Daddy died.
Medicine can give us time, but it will never be able to give you the intangibles of “good,” “healthy,” “sound,” or “well.”
And, without those, time is useless.