FAITH: Remembering Yvette Stewart-Robinson (January 15, 2021)

yvette-captI remember Yvette, after I came to North Carolina, to help care for my terminally ill twin sister, asking me, “You’re not going to leave as soon as Deb dies, right?” I assured her that I would not and that I would be here for long as she needed or wanted me to be. The relief on her face was palpable.

Yvette was struggling with hip pain when I got here. She chalked it up to years of nursing and not always following the protocols for lifting and transporting patients. Toward the end of 2019, Yvette went to see an orthopedic surgeon who did an x-ray and said she needed a hip replacement.

Yvette’s plan was to have the surgery done after Deb died. But COVID restrictions were enforced within a week after Deb’s death on February 29, 2020, and that meant everything changed. Instead of having Deb’s memorial service and the church she and Yvette were members of, we had a small memorial service at home. Yvette’s hip surgery was considered an elective surgery. Elective surgeries were postponed indefinitely. Continue reading

Memories of Mama (July 11, 2021)

Mama March 2, 2003Eleven years ago today – July 11, 2010 – which was also a Sunday, the sometimes bizarre, always unpredictable behavior that Mama had been regularly exhibiting since the fall of 2008 reached its critical mass. The week before had been very stressful. Mama’s paranoia and anger were at full-tilt and she spent the week crescendoing out of control.

I visited her every day at her apartment in the retirement community she had just up and decided to go to in late 2005. It served her well, but I can remember my surprise when she just suddenly announced to me that she was moving out from living with me to this community in town. Continue reading

Book Review: “You’re a Miracle (And A Pain In The Ass)” by Mike McHargue

You're a Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass): Understanding the Hidden Forces That Make You YouYou’re a Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass): Understanding the Hidden Forces That Make You You by Mike McHargue
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

McHargue does a great job of connecting that overwhelmingly-complex network that makes up that 3-pound organ that sits in our skull to how we become who we are. We are all miracles and pains at the same time because as our brains develop – and continually change – over time, the tuning and pruning process gets some things very right and some things very wrong. Continue reading

Death’s Dance

When a loved one dies, we start death’s dance. This is not a fun dance, nor is it a happy dance. Instead, it is a tension-filled dance that happens on a symbolic high wire, where one misstep could cause us to fall.

For caregivers who may have spent months or years taking care of their loved one before they died, death’s dance is especially grueling and exhausting because they are already so tired, so emotionally spent, and so mentally fragmented. Continue reading

Book Review: The Great Influenza – John M. Barry

The Great Influenza: The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History by John M. Barry

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


A little over a century ago, a similar scenario like the one we’re seeing with COVID-19 in 2020 played out. The 1918 influenza pandemic lasted almost three years. It did not start in Spain (it’s often called the “Spanish flu”), but instead instead in a small, rural town in Kansas.

It spread rapidly all on its own. It was a killer. But it became a pandemic because President Woodrow Wilson decided to take America into World War I.

Once Wilson committed to the war, he decided that victory over the Germans (particularly) wasn’t enough. He wanted to annihilate them (this attitude carried over into the crushing terms imposed on them through the Treaty of Versailles, and these two factors were huge in the rise of Adolph Hitler to power). That vengefulness meant sending every available man to Europe as quickly as possible.

Among those men were young men from the Kansas town that had been hit so hard by influenza. They were the original super spreaders. The US military took major hits. Then those military members hit big cities: Boston, Chicago, Philadelphia, to name a view, and civilians began to take a big hit as well.

The 1918 influenza spread through the United States and the rest of the world like wildfire, with a probable death toll of up to 150 million.

Scientists were baffled and raced around looking for the cause. Some scientists made up their own on-the-fly vaccines as stabs at seeing what would work. Doctors returned to medieval practices, such as bloodletting and applying leeches, and throwing medicines meant for other diseases at their dying patients.

Politicians lied, first denying the problem, and then downplaying it (the one exception was the mayor of San Francisco). They did more harm than good because they didn’t implement public health measures right away. In places where they did shut things temporarily, they reopened as quickly as possible, while influenza was still raging. They imposed onerous restrictions on the press, which was not allowed to report on what was really happening.

Wilson initiated all of this for his own self-interests. He was determined to destroy Germany, and influenza (cautions, restrictions, health measures) wasn’t going to get in the way of that. Ironically, Wilson himself contracted influenza around the time when the Treaty of Versailles was being negotiated in Paris.

Accounts from some of the people closest to Wilson noted significant changes to the President that impacted the negotiations. Within a few months, Wilson suffered a severe and debilitating stroke (modern scientists suspect the cause was his bout with influenza), from which he never recovered (his wife and a close aide ran the country for the remainder of his term).

There was not a word publicly spoken or written about Wilson’s health during this time, and official reports propped him up as being fully in charge as president of the country.

The country was not ready for a pandemic. The world was not ready for a pandemic.

But it came anyway.

History repeats itself. You will feel like you’re reading about COVID-19 when you read this book. It’s chilling. There were some scientific and medical voices of reason during the Great Influenza Pandemic. They were silenced or ignored or marginalized. The loudest voices were those of the least wise, the least informed, and the most self-centered.



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Profiles in Dementia: George Thomas Seaver (1944 – 2020)

Baseball Hall of Famer George Thomas Seaver was born in California in 1944. Although in high school, Seaver was a lettered basketball player, the pictcher’s mound in baseball was where he found his athletic groove.

As his career expanded into Major League Baseball, Seaver became known for performing both well on the field – earning the nickname “Tom Terrific” during his 20-year professional baseball career – and off the field.

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Is COVID-19 (Novel Coronavirus) a Hoax?

covid19-3d-going-gentle-into-that-good-nightIs COVID-19 (novel coronavirus) a hoax? Well, it depends, apparently, on…wait for it…not science, not facts, not critical thinking, but instead which polarized (and patently full of untruths) end of politics you’ve put your faith and trust in.

We’ve lost our minds in this country. You can fact check everything now (including the president) using the brain God gave you and the common sense that all of us should have, but seems to be in extreme short supply anymore, to discern between what’s true and what’s false from an objective, rational, and logical point of view.

But it appears that some people have been sucked into the vortex of ignorance and extremism that seems to be its own kind of pandemic, not only in America, but throughout the world. 
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Advance Directives and COVID-19

dementia advance directiveIn a very unsettling development in the COVID-19 pandemic, the Washington Post has an article in its March 25, 2020 edition that reports that some hospital systems in the United States are considering imposing Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders on all patients who are admitted with the viral infection.

The implications of this for all of us are worth noting and talking about. If we have advance directives – and we should – and we want all live-saving measures used, including resuscitation, if we are actively dying, the new policy that some hospital systems (in North Carolina, Illinois, and the District of Columbia, so far) are strongly considering will go against our legal and personal wishes. Continue reading

Saying Goodbye in the Time of COVID-19

galleries-d36161d68e9df5217a9c55eec6e7ac08-14564867839Life as we knew it has been upended by COVID-19. As I’ve thought and pondered a lot on the changes we see and the potential changes ahead, I see that there could be some very good results that come from this, as well as some very bad ones.

I scan the news headlines a couple of times a day, and then I leave it alone. A steady diet of all the confusion, the outright wrong information (often from the government), and all the unknowns (and there are a lot) about COVID-19 can result in feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed. I don’t want that for myself.
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